Terminator: Resistance review: a first-person shooter out of time

I played Terminator: Resistance as a slut.

This was not something I expected to be able to do in a Terminator game, and yet here we are in post-apocalyptic Los Angeles, struggling to survive the war against the machines, with a right thirst on.

Terminator: ResistanceDeveloper: TeyonPublisher: Reef EntertainmentPlatform: Reviewed on PS4 ProAvailability: Out now on PC, PS4 and Xbox One

There are dialogue choices to make in this first-person shooter from the people behind the terrible Rambo game of 2014. At one point I was presented with the opportunity to have sex with the woman who leads the resistance faction you’re fighting for. She wanted me to kill someone for her. I wasn’t so sure I fancied doing that, in part because I dreaded the prospect of playing yet another mind-numbing away mission. But, she said she would make it worth my while. Then, a dialogue choice presented itself: press heart to bang (I’m paraphrasing), or walk away? Press heart to bang!

So she led me away, by the hand, to a room down the bottom of the bunker, where there was a bed. A nice bed for post-apocalyptic Los Angeles! And then, in first-person, we did it, her last-gen face all up in my grill, groaning and writhing. A minute later we finished. “You’re dismissed,” she said, pushing me out the door. I tried to get back in, but the door was locked. What, no time for a quick spoon?

Let’s Play Terminator: Resistance – COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO SEE A HILARIOUSLY BAD GAME! Watch on YouTube

I felt kind of bad about sleeping with the boss because all throughout the game’s terrible campaign I’d had my eye on Jennifer, my one true love, a woman who found it in her heart to flirt with me minutes after she had a terrifying encounter with a metal head. Jennifer is the woman I was supposed to fall in love with. Had I cheated on her? Maybe.